I'll miss you anyway
by Aishi-Cc
Summary: Our memories define who we are without them we are not who we were and nothing can ever make sense as it did. If you lost half or what you were could you move on being half a soul or would you do whatever it takes to get your past back? 2x3


Alright as people who know my work know I so do love doing 2x3x2 fics, that pairing just works so well and people tend to like my Trowa in general. That makes me so happy since I took the Manga and the Anime and added a bit of humor and there we go. The show never really shows Trowa has a sense of humor, but the Manga does one time Wufei even yelled at Trowa for laughing too much –sigh- this is why as a writer I try to read as much of the Manga and watch as much of the Anime as I can. Anyway why did I write this fic other then I just LOVE the pairing? What a wonderful question so happy you asked the idea had been done to death maybe not here but trust me. Poor pilot loses memory true love helps get it back been there seen that right? Well like 'Death and Silence' an overly used idea gets a twist by well me…clearly me right? Now anyone who watched the show knows Trowa has a habit of looking over his wounded friends when he can first Heero latter Quatre. Note you can see this in something called 'Odds and Evens' I have screen shoots, little ones, but I have never seen it.

So Duo gets hurt on a mission and Trowa already being on Earth is the first to get there and look over him. Now true Duo doesn't remember him but Trowa is such a calm guy and we all know how sweet he can be Hell I'd trust him on sight. I try to keep it as realistic as I can my usual embodiments of the pilots and Co are all here so if you like the way I write them enjoy. For my small 2x3 fan art gallery go to Aishi-Cc not Aishi-Cc2 or Aishi-Cc3 from my bio. I will try to fine more but good images of not tiny size can be hard to fine for this pairing. Sorry all 1x3 and 4x3 fans you'll just have to review my older stuff until I update or post a new one.

**WarNinGs**: Shounen-Ai content, Slight OOCness, Over Used Base Plot, Picking on Duo (Gomen Duo Otaku), Non Yaoi Cannon Pairings, Slight Langue now and then, anything I forgot.

**Aishi Say**

"_Even if the memories are lost the soul retains its shape_." Hisui former Angle Master of Air from CLAMP's 'Wish' series.

**I'll Miss You Anyway**

Duo groaned softly his head really, really, really hurt and he was so not enjoying the experience of waking up. He realized he was in a comfortable bed, which was good and in his own clothes, which was even better but where the Hell was he? '_What happened to me this time?…no maybe what hit me would work better? Either way should I even bother trying to get up? Let's have a little looksy first then we'll decide what to do next…yep sounds like a good plan.'_ Bright amethyst eyes opened slowly, and moved just as slowly he was in a large room which reminded him of a dorm for some reason he just could not place. It was all very nice and expensive looking but not familiar at all, the various items which litter the shelves and various flat surfaces screamed him but he could not place them either. '_That's alright sever hits to the head can cause temporal memory lost, thank you Television. Now what's up with this room, did I get hurt at or near some richy rich school? Nah that so doesn't make any sense…comfy bed at any rate nice and warm…'_ Duo moved his hands over the bed it felt good under his fingers, stopping when they brushed something that felt like very soft cotton but not the covers. '_Huh?'_ He turned his head to get a better look at just what he had brushed his hand against and blinked, before just staring confused. Sleeping peacefully on 'his' swivel chair was a young man he would guess was no older then twenty sitting there, arms folded on the back of the chair. Lose white button down sleeves half rolled up lightly tanned lower arms, long golden brown bangs hanging limply over his arm, eyes whatever their color were closed.

Duo frowned at him in thought his mind working a bit slower than normal, but still working so he was happy. '_Well he sure as Hell ain't dressed like no preppy snob, but who is he, and why is he here, and sleeping even?'_ He leaned in close studying him as if staring would suddenly jog his memory, but all he came up with were more questions. His current foggy memory could not remember anyone who looked so serene when they slept, and as harmless as the other looked he knew he should be concerned. This guy could have been the one who hurt him, for all he knew, but he ignored that little voice as he brushed his fingers along long spiky bangs curiosity beating out caution. '_His hair is so soft so how does it do that? It's strange but I kindda like it.'_ He blinked when he noticed the other was looking at him with half open eyes, which happened to be green, which Duo did notice as he jumped back hitting the pillows.

Trowa blinked as he lifted his head, "Duo?" He asked concerned and too tired to care about hiding anything even a little.

Duo just stared at the stranger for a moment, calming mind focusing on how the other's eyes seemed to catch the light showing of the subtle touches of various green. '_He knows my name! Who are you? __**God **__you have beautiful eyes. Idiot stop staring!'_ Those gentle eyes just watched him concerned, unbothered by his staring and Duo began to relax. He could tell from the other's tone and manner he was a friend, close or not he was not sure but clearly not a threat. "Sorry a little jumpy," Duo apologized voice still a bit shaky, but at least his heart was no longer pounding way too fast out of fear.

Trowa nodded use to Duo after being around him as long as he had, "Understandable. Are you alright?"

Duo smiled, the mysterious youth had a very pleasant voice it was easy to talk to him, the fact he was genuinely concern but not fussing was nice to. "Well my head is seriously killing me but everything still works, so yeah I guess so."

Trowa allowed himself to smile a bit in relief before talking again, after talking with Sally he had been worried, "Good. You've been sleeping for two days now, I would have been here sooner but you know Kathy."

"**Two Days**!" Duo cried gaping at the news, too stunned to think of anything else to say about it just then. '_Two days…well no wonder my head hurts so much that was one bad day. Come sooner, why come at all, and just who is this Kathy? Figures someone like that has a girlfriend. Oh stop thinking like that.'_

"Yeah, the others will be here by tonight at the earliest, but I was already here on Earth so." Trowa shrugged watching Duo, something felt off but he did not have Quatre's gift, his feeling came from over a decade of fighting. "Are you sure you're alright Duo? Sally should be by soon to check up on you, but I can go get her if you want?"

"I'm just tired," Duo felt a pang of guilt over worrying this gentle eyed young man, but there was little else he could do. '_Others? I'm on Earth too? God am I confuse. Sally must be a doctor or whatever, cool I can work with that. What I want is to know what is going on, but thanks for asking anyway.'_

"Hello Trowa," An older dark blonde haired women greeted the seated youth warmly before turning to Duo and smiled at him. "Welcome back Duo, here these will help with those headaches. Are you hungry?"

Duo took the two pills popping them into his mouth before washing them down. '_Well that's one little mystery solved you're name is Trowa…what langue is that anyway? Now tell me what's going on nice lady?'_ "Yes ma'am. Am I Ok Sally?" He took a guess and he caught the briefest of frowns from Trowa, but the other said nothing.

"Well the last of your tests are sitting on my desk, but considering what happened to you you're just fine." Sally assured him smiling as she took the glass back and turned to Trowa, who looked up as if excepting an order to follow her movement. "Trowa be a dear and see he stays in bed, there is no reason for him to be moving around, and I would hate to have to strap him down?"

"Sure," Trowa answered simply, tone a bit more formal then it had been when he had been talking with Duo, and the braided youth wondered a bit about that. Duo bit his lip watching her go, half watching Trowa follow her with his eyes in a very feline manner he had a feeling was perfectly normal. "Something's wrong," Trowa accused turning to give him an even stare, he had learned to trust his instincts. Not listening when Heero had tried to warn him had been a mistake, he should have been there for his partner and he should have listened to his leader, he was careful not to make mistakes that would endanger anyone besides himself.

"Huh?" Duo asked turning to look at him, fidgeting a bit under the other's unwavering stare.

"You did not recognized Sally you guessed," Trowa answered tone even, he knew he was right Duo was good at acting, but he was no good at hiding his cues from people who knew what to look for. Duo blinked as it dawned on him this guy knew him _very_ well and was not going to drop this until he was satisfied. '_Who is this guy? Creepy trick there man.'_ "Do you recognize me?" Trowa asked stare softening somewhat, Duo did not need to be stared at, he was still his friend and this was not some interrogation.

Duo was relieved when Trowa ease up on the staring, but still looked at him wanting an answer. He considered breaking his personal code and lying but it passed as quickly as it had come, one could only fake it for so long, and to be that worried he dissevered the truth. "No, sorry I don't," Head hung as he said it, some part of him felt sick inside like he had stabbed the other in the back. "Please don't tell her, I'm scared?" He cried looking up ,eyes pleading as he snatched the other's hand on reflex pleasantly surprised when he did feel better.

Trowa blinked surprised by Duo's sudden outburst of fear, he had not mean to frighten him, "Duo Sally can help you."

Duo shook his head, he knew Sally was a doctor and Trowa had not mean to upset him but he was still scared. "_Please_ not yet?" He pleaded staring up into deep dark eyes willing him to understand something he himself could not.

Trowa sighed softly closing his eyes for a moment, Quatre used the same look to get him to do what he wanted sometimes, and it would not hurt Duo to wait to tell Sally. "Very well though, I think you are making a mistake not telling her."

Duo nodded, "Maybe, but I'm really scared here." Bright eyes watched Trowa, he got the feeling he was not one to give in easily even to a friend if he felt strongly, it just fit.

"Of her?" Trowa asked, Sally could be very intimidating when she wished, but she was not all that imposing otherwise.

"Um…a little," Duo admitted frowning at the clear blink of surprise, he felt entitle to a little fear. "Look I don't know who I am, how I got here…or anything else important right now so I'm scared." His tone was a bit defensive and he frowned confused when Trowa nodded absently in agreement.

"I understand," Trowa assured him, fear was something he remembered quite well and disliked, he was able to control his emotions, fear was a complete loss of that control. Frowning he leaned forward slightly, ever curious mind nagging at him, "Why aren't you scare of me? You have no memory of me either," Katharine came to mind; he had trusted her without question, even before the so called 'Zero Incident'. She had felt safe and when it turned out they were related he had been pleased he had been able to give her back her little brother.

Duo bit his lip looking down, Trowa put so much depth in such a simple question it was intriguing. "You stayed with me, came here to see me, won't tell on me…I guess." He looked up meeting dark eyes and smiled a bit, "I just know I can trust you. I know it's strange, but I get this feeling like you would never hurt me ever." It had to sound strange, he knew it, but Trowa only smiled a bit at him saying nothing. "Trowa tell me who you are, who am I now, and just what is going on?"

Trowa frowned and decided to ask the simplest question he was thinking of and going form there, "Do you remember your Gundam?"

"My what?" Duo asked he had never heard of a Gundam, it sounded like a weapon at any rate.

"Hm…what do you remember?" Trowa asked switching tactics, it would easier to fill in the gaps when he knew when they started.

"Well…my home," Duo answered watching eyes narrow a bit in an almost concerned expression, and he became just a little bit worried.

"The Maxwell Church?" Trowa asked, frowning when Duo nodded looking very much like a child unsure if they were about to be scolded. The calm pilot looked away, he knew what he had to tell him would be a shock, and he hated hurting those he loved and wanted to protect. "Duo you…you've lost a decade."

"A decade?" Duo asked watching green eyes turn back to face him that was a long time, "How long have I known you?" It felt like forever some part of him screamed, like it was on the tip of his tongue, but he did not say it.

"Roughly three years," Trowa answered tone apologetic, he wished he had more to offer but the truth was all he had to give.

Duo frowned confused by the tone; none of this was his fault…was it? "And the other seven?" There was feeling he would not like the answer but he still had to ask, he had always been like that he doubted that had changed.

Trowa sighed softly, "I am sorry Duo but I really do not know. We all talk very little about our pasts, we know about the church but not much else." He had never minded not knowing before, he answered any questions he could answer about his, the most common was had he shoot the former Trowa Barton.

Duo was confused by the distant look but he did not feel right asking him about it. '_Maybe that is just how he looks when he's helpless. It makes me want to hug him, God __**why **__must you look that way?'_ "Yeah, well, it hasn't exactly been all rainbows and sunshine."

"No it hasn't," Trowa agreed softly, "You, Duo Maxwell, are a very complex person."

Duo smiled knowing a compliment when he heard one, "I have a feeling you are one as well eh Trowa?"

Trowa smiled at Duo's show of humor, "I am, but that is of little importance. As to who you are now you are a Gundam pilot, and you protect people."

"Form Leos?" Duo asked ignoring his wish to ask why he felt he was of so little importance, there would be time for that latter.

"From many suits actually," Trowa half corrected half informed him.

"So I'm a pilot? You one too?" Duo liked the idea of thrashing OZ suits maybe a bit too much, but they had ruined his life, well what he could remember of it. '_Did OZ destroy your innocence too?'_

"Yes," Trowa answered simply, there was no need to elaborate just then, Duo would ask if he wanted to know.

"A decade…shit that's over half my life," Duo felt sick for a moment, over half of who he was just gone the good and the bad.

"Try losing it all?" Trowa suggested half talking to himself softly, cheek on his folded arm frowning when he realized Duo had heard him from his silence.

"Dude, this happened to you too?" Duo just stared, no wonder he was here and so angry with himself for not being of more help, he had been there.

Trowa nodded lifting his head, "Yes, but I am fine now, you will be too." Duo felt his hand being gently squeezed reminding him he had never released Trowa's hand, nor had his been released. '_How did I not notice?'_

"Ok now, Duo you need your rest," Sally informed him walking back into the room, setting down a plate before turning to Trowa, "You come."

"NO!" Duo cried cling to Trowa's arm startling them both with the force of his protest.

Sally sighed tolerantly, "Now is _no_ time to act so childish Duo. You need your rest and so does he, now let him go _right_ now!" She ordered dark blue eyes warningly serious, hands on her hips, she loved these boys but sometimes she wanted to strangle them.

"No, I don't want to be all alone!" Duo shivered at the idea, Trowa he knew would protect him, he needed that safe feeling and he would not just let him go.

Trowa stroked Duo's hair gently, his grip was painful but he ignored it, the worst he could do was bruise him. Looking up to Sally he knew the look Katherine got the same one, "Sally?"

"Trowa no," Sally said cutting him off, "Duo I _mean_ it now."

Duo shook his head, "In won't sleep if you make him leave!"

Sally threw her arms up, "Oh for crying out loud you five."

"Sally I'm the quite one remember, I'll make sure he rests alright?" Trowa asked, Duo would not give in, and all this yelling was not helping anyone.

Sally sighed, "Fine, but I will _not_ fight with all five of you. I am a doctor and one of your CO's damn it!"

Trowa pulled his arm free easily as he stood, placing a gentle hand on Sally's shoulder. "Quatre will want to stay, but I can handle him."

"And Heero?" Sally questioned knowing Quatre listened to reason much better then the other fearless leader of the Gundam Pilots.

Trowa smiled a knowing smile, "You know one of us _always_ stays Sally."

"Alright use logic damn you," Sally smiled patting Trowa's hand. "You're a good boy so keep a brotherly eye on him, at least I'll know you are not doing anything foolish. Oh, and do remind him a doctor's word is law?"

"Of course," Trowa assured her, use to Sally's out bursts when they did not listen, which happened a lot really.

"I'll be back later then," Sally shook her head and walked out muttering about men as she did so.

"See scary," Duo commented shivering, looking up when Trowa turned frowning at him.

"Why did you do that, I told you before you are safe here?" Trowa demanded, if Duo trusted him then why did he not believe him?

"I want _you_ here, _you_ make me feel safe," Duo answered, Trowa did not sound completely happy with him.

Trowa frowned not sure what to say, "Duo Sally is…"

"Not you," Duo said cutting him off feeling a little guilty, that seemed to be happening a lot today to him. "I know, but I can't sleep when I'm scared."

Trowa closed his eyes rubbing the bridge of his nose, "You and Quatre can both be so stubborn at times."

Duo was not sure how to take that comment, but since it did not sound like a straight insult he let it go. "Yeah Sister Helen had her hands full."

Trowa sighed sitting back down, long legs crossing absently, "I bet."

"Are you mad at me Trowa?" Duo knew he sound like a child, and a begging one at that, but the thought of the other being mad upset him more then he thought it would.

"Hm? Oh, no Duo just thinking," Trowa answered crossing his arms as he watched Duo sigh in relief, frowning in thought.

"About what?" Duo asked knowing it had to be something unpleasant to produce that frown.

"Heero," Trowa admitted, knowing Duo would not understand what he meant, but just saying his name anyway.

Duo frowned, the tone suggested there was a good reason behind it, but he did not know who Heero was let alone the reason, "Why?"

"He'll probably want to stick you in Zero," Trowa answered not sounding all that pleased with the idea. Duo shivered this Zero thing made his hair stand on end but he did not know why, frowning when Trowa shook his head with a tired sigh. "This will lead to a headache."

Duo hung his head, "I'm sorry I'm causing you so much trouble Trowa." He sighed softly, he could feel those deep eyes on him; "Maybe you should have stayed at home with your girlfriend, and not bothered with me."

"My what?" Trowa asked before chuckling softly, "Duo, Kathy is my older sister."

"Oh…oops," Duo blushed a cute shade of pink embarrassed, but Trowa's laugh was kindhearted and amused so he smiled when he did.

"It's fine really, you had no reason to think otherwise," Trowa assured him, Quatre blushed the same way it was cute.

"You look tired man," Duo wondered just how long he had been here already, and if he had been in the battle he had been hurt in.

Trowa raised a hand dismissively, "Don't waste your energy worrying about me so much Duo." Lean from leaned back wearily against the chair not so far from the wall to his right, fatigue would pass soon enough.

Duo shook his head, he had a feeling this was normal for him as well, "Whatever you say man. So you got a girlfriend or something?"

"No," Trowa said not the least bit surprised by the question, it was just something Duo would ask.

Duo gaped at him, that did not make any sense, "But why not, you're hot? You too busy or something?" The was cute, seemed like he was pleasant company, and did not appear to be insane so he was confused.

Trowa blinked momentarily taken aback, Duo had teased him plenty of times about his looks but that had not sounded like a joke. "You could say that," it was not a lie really, he had never really thought about it.

"I guess being a pilot is a lot of work huh?" Duo wondered about that, did they live in space or what, were they paid big bucks, the norm really.

"Yeah, but I've been doing it most of my life," Trowa admitted softly, lack of free time had not hindered his other relationships.

"Piloting?" Duo frowned, that did not make sense really, but he waited trusting he would explain.

"Killing," Trowa corrected watching Duo blink, "Still feel safe alone with me?"

"Yep, you'd never hurt me," Duo answered confident he had been right about this young man.

Trowa frowned, "Why say that, I killed some of the people who raised me?"

Duo blinked but he believed that, "Your eyes, I can see it in them…well one anyway. Besides someone with such a calming vibe would never off his friends." He had been lucky with his adoptive parents, he knew not everyone was.

Trowa smiled a little at Duo's sentimental, but still insightful, response, "Observant as always, good."

"Trowa would this Zero thingy hurt?" Duo was pleased he had gotten a smile but the Zero was nagging at him.

"Yes," Trowa answered softly, that was the only time one of his fellow pilots had heard him scream out like that.

"I don't think I like this Zero thing," Duo decided without much thought.

"He may not care," Trowa informed him, Heero was very forceful when he wanted to be.

"Is he stronger then you?" Duo knew Trowa was strong, he had clung to his arm, but he did not know this Heero guy.

Trowa frowned, "Yes," there was little more to say.

Duo frowned, stronger did not always mean better, "So you couldn't stop him?"

"He is stronger but I am faster so, maybe," Trowa frowned, he had the faster draw but pulling a gun on his leader was an unsettling thought.

Duo leaned back against the pillows, grabbing a plate of food from the tray beside his bed, "Alright good to know."

Duo half opened his eyes thankful his splitting skull was now just a dull ache, curious he turned his head Trowa was slumped in his chair, head resting against the wall. The braided youth could not help but smile, he really was beautiful when he was asleep and he had stayed at his side. '_Could I be in love with him and forgot? Is that why I want him near, why I feel so safe near him, why I love just watching him?'_ Eyes half closed when the door opened and a pale, fragile looking, blonde walked in careful not to make any noise. Duo figured he was one of the others he had been told about so he watched him lean close to Trowa, hand resting on his shoulder, "Trowa?"

Green eyes opened at the whispered call of his name, "Hey Cat." Trowa greeted smiling a sleepy smile at his partner, not surprised he was the first to enter the room, he was Quarter after all.

Quatre smiled at the use of his nickname, glancing at Duo for a moment before turning back to his friend, "How is he?"

"Resting," Trowa answered sitting up with a yawn, it had been a long last few days and he was not quite as tough as Heero.

"Thank Allah, I was so worried when Sally told us about how he was thrown from his suit like…" Quatre trailed off unable to finish his thought, eyeing his partner he asked his normal question, "How are you?"

"Just tried I promise," Trowa assured him patting the other's pale hand with a reassuring smile, "The others?"

"They just wanted to give me a moment I guess," Quatre answered, they all knew he chided his fellow pilots for pushing themselves too hard.

Duo watched a wild banged burnet walk in wearing a lose hunter tank top and Trowa's jeans, followed by a Chinese youth in white and navy. He looked at the dark blue-eyed youth, he just screamed leader to him, his eyes closed fully when those dark eyes fell on him. "He awake?" Heero asked turning to Trowa since he had been here he would know.

"Yeah I am," Duo answered sitting up, "Hey guys!" He greeted getting a hug from the blonde he assumed was Quatre from Trowa's use of Cat. "I'm good, really Blondie."

"We just heard from Sally Duo, you are not," Wufei informed him voice serious, he sounded just fine though.

Heero turned to look at his partner, "The Zero fixed Trowa." He said thinking out loud, sure Trowa had mentioned it by now.

"Heero no!" Quatre cried in protest, turning to face his co leader and friend, "You know Duo hates the Zero more than I do." He looked away voice sad, "You can't."

"We could smack him and see what happens?" Trowa suggested getting a blink then a half smile from Quatre.

"Let me guess, I said that about you?" Duo had a feeling but it did not hurt to ask, and he really did not want the fighting to start up again.

"Yeah," Trowa answered softly, he had never been sure if Duo had meant it or not.

"The Zero could be our best bet," Heero reminded his team ignoring Trowa's and Duo's short conversation.

"No!" Quatre cried shaking his head, the very idea of using the Zero on Duo made him sick, Duo hated the system.

"Look," Duo started not pleased with being ignored. "I may not know what this Zero thingy is, but Trowa said it hurts, so I think I'll just let it come back on its own, thanks."

"That hurts too," Trowa said under his breath going unnoticed by all but Duo, who frowned wanting to hug his friend once again.

Heero sighed, "Duo, we do not have the luxury of time to allow it to come back on its own, if it even does. If we had known the Zero could fix this…"

"You'd what?" Duo snapped not liking where this was going at all, "You would have forced it on Trowa? He was worst of then me right?"

Heero meet his icy glare with his even stare, arms crossed, "Yes to both."

"Get out," Duo growled fist balling ignoring Quatre's worried look.

"Nani?" Heero asked, he had heard him just fine but he did not think he had heard him correctly.

"Get out! You guys just go!" Duo screamed frustrated, he hated to be acting like some Soap Opera reject but he just could not take this right now.

"Duo?" Quatre questioned softly, wanting to help his friend in any way he could, Duo was very emotional, as he was, but he rarely got this upset.

Duo smiled apologetically at him, "You too Goldie Locks. Thanks for the support, but you three go fight outside."

Wufei frowned, unsure about his math, "Three? Duo there are four of us?"

"I can count Raven Hair," Duo informed him getting the feeling they fought from time to time, "But Trowa _is_ staying right here." He looked to Trowa to see if he would protest such a decision being made without even asking, but he said nothing.

"His name is Wufei Duo," Quatre explained gently, "Why do you want Trowa to stay with you?" He could guess, the two had never really not gotten along, and worked well together. The fact he was very protective never hurt, it made him rather endearing even to the moody Wufei.

"He makes me feel better," Duo answered watching teal eyes blinked, before the pale youth smiled a knowing smile nodding in agreement.

"This is absurd," Wufei muttered crossing his arms frowning at Duo, he agreed with Heero, Duo was no good to anyone as he was.

"Wufei please?" Quatre ordered gently before turning to Trowa, he had been through this before and he always trusted his judgment, "Trowa?"

Trowa sighed, "He is _very_ persistent about this, but if we are voting then no." He answered evenly, he understood Heero's reasoning, but Duo was not like they were, he was not a childhood trained living weapon.

Quatre nodded, protective or not he was also logical, "I understand. You two out."

"Quatre?" Wufei asked in protest, he was use to the blonde's orders he was co leader, unofficial or not, but babying Duo was foolish, just as trying to do the same to Trowa had been.

Quatre turned to Heero and Wufei soft eyes serious, he would not be fought on this, "Outside Wufei. We will fight _outside_ or not at all." Wufei knew better then to argue with that tone, even Trowa could not sway him, not that he wished to that was clear, they were of the same mind on this. Nodding he walked out without further protest allowing the blonde to focus on Heero who had not moved, "Heero?"

"In a minute," Heero answered, it was not a question Quatre frowned but walked out, knowing he would come after he said what he was going to say. "This foolish." He informed both seated pilots, he knew Trowa was protective by nature as his sister was, but it was helping no one.

"'The body remembers' Heero, that was your justification," Trowa reminded him coolly unmoved. Heero may be the physically stronger of the two, but he had never been intimidated by a stronger opponent.

"You've piloted longer than any of us Trowa," Heero reminded him meeting dark green eyes, he was a natural pilot that was why he had not fought him then.

"I've also been in his shoes, he may be your partner Heero, but the Zero might just make him worst, especially if he fights it." Trowa remembered the Zero's little voice and the pain of fighting it, while he did not hate the Zero he also saw no reason to use it, he had lived this long without it.

Heero sighed, Trowa, as always, had a point, Duo's fear and hatred of the Zero could cause a negative effect. "We will run it by both Howard and Sally," and with that he walked out.

Duo watched him go mind racing, so Trowa had the most experience but Heero was the leader, and that sweet little blonde could be very forceful, "He's my partner?"

"Yes, well unofficially anyway, Quatre is mine," Trowa answered, never sure why it would matter if it was official or not.

"Then shouldn't he be on my side?" Duo asked, it seemed Heero and Wufei wanted to force the Zero on him but Trowa and Quatre were against it.

"He wants to help you Duo, please do not misunderstand attitude?" Trowa informed him coming to Heero's defense, their leader cared deeply for them all, but he was not always the best at showing it. "He is the acting leader, and without your memories you are useless and a liability to the unit, one we may not be able to afford if things become hectic."

Duo nodded, he understood most of that, Heero was a tough Army dude and sometimes he came off as a cold hard ass, "Justification?"

"I wanted to help, but Quatre was against it, and Wufei though I was useless," Trowa answered.

"But why?" Duo could not see anyone calling Trowa useless, and if Heero let him pilot he could not have been.

"I didn't have Heavy Arms," Trowa had thanked Sally for taking care of his suit upon its return, she had said anytime, which was fine by him.

"He your Gundam?" Duo asked trying to figure out why it was called that, he figured there was a reason, weapon names always had reasons. Military programs and missions not so much, what kind of name was Blue Book anyway?

"Yes," Trowa answered absently, he had piloted many suits but Heavy Arms was his favorite, it suited him.

"Who's this Howard guy?" Duo hated to bother him with twenty questions, but he wanted to know why Heero had said he would ask Howard like it meant something.

"He is one of the six scientists responsible for the creation of the Gundams, and an ally of ours, he should know if the Zero can help you, if anyone can." Trowa had spoken with Howard a few times, he had known without asking he had not been chosen but he should have been. He rather liked Howard and considered him a good partner for Zechs and Duo, as different as those two were they did have a few key traits in common

Duo nodded, Howard sounded Ok so he relaxed about him, "Were you this scared?"

"Yes," Trowa admitted without thinking, it was a feeling he would prefer never feeling again in that intensity, but he doubted he would be so lucky.

"I'm sorry," Duo felt as if he just had to say that, but he really was sorry.

"Don't be," Trowa informed him he had not been there, he could not have stopped what had to happen that day.

"You don't care what happens to you do you?" Duo accused, he had said things before which hinted at that but know he was sure.

Trowa shook his head, it was not something he had ever bothered to keep secret, "No I don't."

"That's sad, a nice guy like you shouldn't have lost all his hope so young," Duo knew he sounded like Father Maxwell, but it was true and tore at his heart.

"I never had any hope, or any emotion for that matter, until I teamed up with all of you," Trowa explained, Quatre and Katherine found that so sad but he had not been unhappy. Cap had treated him well, and now he was becoming what he wished he had been, someone who had a reason to smile.

"Damn you're fucked up…sorry," Duo bitted his lip looking at Trowa who was not looking at him.

"It's fine Duo, I am really," Trowa assured, him he knew he was not right, but he was what he was and it allowed him to do the job he had chosen.

"Lighten up Trowa," Duo teased hoping to lighten the mood, he hated dark moods, he was scared and he did not want to be depressed as well.

"Cy," Trowa corrected looking at him, left eye veiled behind his long bangs as it always was.

"Huh?" Duo asked confused by the correction but willing to wait for the other to explain.

"You always call me Tro or Cy when you tease me," Trowa answered, it had not taken long for Duo to come up with nicknames for them all.

"I do? Do you mind?" Duo knew that was stupid, if he mined, which was a big if, he was guessing he would not have said anything. It had not been an absent comment after all, Cy made sense if he never tied his hair back like Wufei's.

"No it…it just feels strange not hearing it," Trowa frowned, he had never really noticed how use he was to hearing it until he stopped calling him it. Strange the little things one noticed when they were missed, how sentimental.

"What do I only call you Trowa when I'm being serious?" Duo asked half scoffing, that seemed like him but that would mean Trowa was a pretty nice guy to put up with that, not minding or not.

"Yes actually," Trowa informed him smiling at the blink of surprise, memories or not Duo was still Duo, something no one had been able to say about him.

"Anyone else call you Cy?" Duo decided since he was answering he might as well keep asking, there was no harm in it.

"No," Trowa answered the other's were not big on nicknames, and he was not close to many other people.

Duo frowned confused, he had mentioned a sister but family did not always use nicknames, or the same ones as friends. "Not even Quatre? You called him Cat."

Trowa shook his head, that was a more recent habit "It's something I learned from you."

'_Learned from me_!' Duo watched Trowa turn and frown at the door, eyes darker than normal. '_He can hear them? Is he a what do you call it…a New Type? Funny he doesn't act like a monster.'_ Getting to his feet he walked over to the window, opening it, folding his arms on smooth wood, "So this is Earth?"

Trowa turned from the door, not surprise Duo was feeling restless, "The Sanc anyway."

"Sank? Funny name. So how long will I be locked up in this room?" Duo asked watching a pair of birds fly around, it was nice here even if it did have a stupid name.

"That all depends on Sally," Trowa answered frowning, he doubted it would be all that long.

Duo nodded recognizing the apologetic tone, "What's a CO I got nothin'?"

"Commanding officer, we work for her," Trowa was not unhappy about that outcome; Sally was a good person even if she and the others had been OZ.

Duo nodded not overly surprised by that, "I hate being coped up Trowa."

"I know," Trowa said softly, anyone who was around Duo for more than five minutes should know that.

Duo turned, "It's a little creepy, you know all this personal stuff about me, but don't know much about you." He realized it sounded a bit resentful and he had not meant it to, he trusted Trowa but he did barely know him.

"So ask?" Trowa suggest not the least bit insulted by Duo's tone, he knew the feeling, it was unsettling and Duo did not do unsettled well.

"You'd just tell me? Just like that?" Duo wanted to believe that, he really did, but he was not as trusting as he acted. He had learned long ago man was a deceitful creature, so he had vowed to never lie again.

Trowa arched an eyebrow at him curiously, "Why not Duo, I have nothing to hide form you?"

Duo leaned against the wall, breeze playing with his bangs, watching Trowa cross his arms on the back to the chair before resting his chin on them. He was just sitting there waiting for Duo to ask him anything that came to mind; it was strange, "Alright, have you ever save my life?"

"We protect each other Duo, we owe each other our lives many times over," Trowa answered, they owed him nothing but now was not the time to remind him of that.

"I've saved your life?" Duo could not believe someone like him would need saving, but he guessed everyone had bad days.

"A few times yes," Trowa assured him, Duo liked to tease when he did sometimes but it was just his way.

"I couldn't save them," Duo muttered sadly, knowing Trowa knew who he meant, he just _had_ to.

"We have all lost someone Duo," Trowa reminded him, true his loses were not his driving force but keeping the number from growing was.

"Who'd you loss?" Duo asked curious if that had something to do with his lack of caring.

"Cap, he took me in, taught me how to fight and pilot, I do miss him sometimes," Trowa had not been pleased when Quatre asked if his captain had ever mistreated him. They had never been close but did not mean he did not care, Heero's mentor had been an equally talented teacher.

"Cap…like captain?" Duo asked wondering if he was a military brat like Heero seemed to be, he was not sure if he really was or not.

"Yes, he never used his name," Trowa closed his eyes, it was one of the reasons he had never been named.

"Sorry man," Duo could tell they had been close, even Trowa had not felt it then he recognized it now. It made him wonder if there was any regret there, things left unsaid and all that.

"He lost, he died, that was the way a Merc had to live their lives," Trowa commented, it was the way he still lived Gundams could not afford to lose. They had fought too hard and too long to fail now that the war was ending, Gundams were feared for good reason.

"You're a Merc?" Duo was surprised, he did not seem the type driven by money or love of death, but he could be wrong.

"Was really," Trowa corrected, he was still getting paid to wipe out the enemy, but Mercs were more the illegal sort.

Duo nodded, made sense he was taken in by them so what choice had he had, good people or not, "So where you from?"

"Earth," Trowa answered both he and Zechs were from Earth with sisters they would kill for, it was amusingly ironic to compare himself with his fellow pilots especially Zechs.

"The others?" Duo asked, he was not aware of Zechs or the other Preventers, they did not exist to him.

"Space, each a different L point," Trowa answered leaving Zechs out, he was hard to explain without confusing Duo.

"So is this Sanc like a base or something?" Duo figured there was some reason to be there, he was just not sure what it was.

"The Sanc Kingdom is a pacifist nation which acts as the head quarters for the Preventers, a force dedicated to keeping peace in space and on Earth. Or so the word version goes," Trowa frowned politicians liked to talk too much.

"So we're Preventers?" Duo liked the sound of that, stopping wars was a good way to spend one's life if it came to that.

"We all are yes, though not all Preventers are pilots," Most could do the basics but Trowa did not feel the need to get into that either.

"Trowa do I love anyone?" Duo now knew what he was, and how he had ended up here, now he wanted to know this.

Trowa turned looking over his shoulder, "What?"

"Do I have a girlfriend or something?" Duo wanted to know, just because Trowa was too busy did not mean he was to.

Trowa frowned, it was a logical question, "You dated Hilde for a while but that ended. If you are dating anyone right now I do not know about it."

Duo took that as a I would know if you were, "Hilde…Is Hilde a pilot to?"

"Yes, and a fellow Preventer, you recruited her." Trowa did not know Hilde all that well but what he knew he liked, she was a very determined and hard working person who smiled very easily.

"Why did it end?" Duo could tell from the tone Hilde was liked so she must have been a good person, he hoped she was not hurt or something.

"I'm not sure," Trowa admitted, he knew a lot of what was going on but he did not know every little thing, even if it seemed he did.

Duo frowned sure he had a reason for not knowing, "Why?"

Trowa knew that was coming, but he had little to say about it, "I was here on Earth when it happened."

"Oh," Duo looked towards the window, "Is she here?"

"Should be," Trowa answered replacing his cheek to his arms he had never pried; it was not his style, so he never really understood what had happened between the two of them. Duo frowned wondering what Hilde was like, how it had ended, did she hate him, all those natural things to wonder. '_Maybe he's why we broke up? I don't think he knows…if he does he either doesn't like me, or isn't telling me for some reason. That I just can't ask.'_

**I'll Miss You Anyway**

Sadly my fellow 2x3x2 Otaku this is the end…just of chapter one promise. If you liked this one then by all means R/R my entire 2x3 collection. My Xanga account will have an old list for you if you do not want to go through 90+ fics. Also remember 2x3 fan art is in Aishi-Cc not Aishi-Cc2 or Aishi-Cc3 there is not much but I am working on that. Hope you enjoyed this, if not the by all means tell me why as long as it isn't something like God hates gays. If you want to preach start a church or a cult not review me, I believe in God but hey love knows no gender.


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